I HATE dealing with military healthcare!!!

It was supposed to be an exciting first visit to confirm the HPT we took last week. The morning sucked because of my restlessness last night. I went to sleep early (8pm) but woke up sweating and achy at 1am then couldn’t fall back asleep until 4am. D got up for work at 6:30 am which woke me too. *sigh*

Got out of bed at 7am and fixed breakfast with some yummy decaf latte. Then during my shower, I started getting queasy and had to sit for a few minutes. On my way out the door, I realized my military ID wasn't in my wallet (WTF?!?) and searched high and low for 15 minutes but then had to leave or I would miss my appointment. I figured I would just get a temporary pass with my driver’s license like had on occasion at our previous base... NOPE! They made me call D (who can't have his cell on him cause of the high security of his job and he doesn't have a desk phone since he just completed transition training since moving here from piloting a different aircraft) so I had to wait for him to get my text (since he knew about the time I was gonna be at the clinic... he luckily checked his phone!

Oh and even before the getting on base debacle... I was stopped by the police for speeding 10 mph over cause I was running late. I was an emotional mess at that point and lost *trying* to take a short cut D told me about! Oh how the tears flowed! I blame that on my hormones! Well... after explaining my situation and newness to the area, no speed sign visible since I just turned on that road (how the hell was I supposed to know the speed dropped from 45 to 35?!?) he took pity on me and let me slide.

So by the time I got to the clinic, after waiting for D to call the gat to let me on base... I was 30 minutes late for my appointment and missed it. Oooooh how the water works flowed as I was explaining my morning to the receptionist at the Women's Clinic desk. I swear I had no control over that! I was just so flustered because getting an appointment on base is SUCH a pain in the ass AND my work schedule is not flexible so getting a day off again this week would have been impossible! I am 5 weeks along at this point and new the paperwork for referrals takes a good 7-10 days to process and I just HAVE to get things rolling to get to even make a damn appointment with and OB/GYN.

They took care of me though and even though I missed me Pap follow-up appointment, I was able to get some blood drawn. So then I was told the nurse who sets up the off base referrals would be able to see me the same day and I would have to make an appoint for later in the week. The when I got home (45 minute drive off base mind you!) I call for my results... it's official... we're pregnant! I was then told I should come in ASAP to get the paper work done to be able to set up my 8 week 1st pre-natal appointment by next week considering how far along we are (thanks, no shit!). So after being told by one person I need to make arrangements later in the week, an hour later I am told by another that I should come back and be squeezed in because we need to start the paper work now. SOOOOOooo... another 45 minute drive later, got my PNV + stool softeners I needed , info on signing up for pregnancy/labor/parenting classes, free books and videos about the pregnancy and my paper work filled out to get my OB/GYN referral.

Thank F*ing God that I have no choice but to go off base for the pregnancy & birth... cause I would have turned into a raging hormonal bitch having to deal with the time consuming cluster fuck of a process dealing with going to the base for checkups!!! After the birth and going back to my PCM or a pediatric doc is another story. Having to be restricted to the base which has early closing times (government slackers!) and no weekend times SUCKS for working people! Plus it fucking 45 minutes out of our way in the middle of nowhere!

We were told when we first moved here, if you lived off base (since the base is in the middle of nowhere) we can easily signup to see a civilian doctor... then that changed out of nowhere last October and I didn't find out about that unstill I called last month to schedule my routine PAP. Did I mention I fucking hate the military healthcare process! I am going to dish out a hot slice of spousal ass chewing at the next commander's call meeting... for all that we already go through stress wise and husbands who are gone so much... the last thing we need is to have to go through a fucking obstacle course to get medical care! I am so heated and disgusted with the incompetence of this base and their slowness in correcting processes that fail in taking care of their people and their families. Don't even get me started on the off base housing allowance for the cost of living out here and the horrible state of housing one base! My husband is livid from the lack of organization of his squadron... and that disorganization and incompetence bleeds over the family support as well. It's disgusting!

Trying to focus on our blessing... at least we have a guaranteed job & have healthcare, a roof over our heads and food on the table... and thankfully able to get pregnant quickly despite the odds... we are healthy, financially stable and hopeful... trying to focus on that! Tomorrow is a new day and will be looking forward to the excitement of the days ahead.

What a momentus day!

We both were able to get the day off to watch President Obama get sworn in AND we got our BFP today!!!

I am only 12 DPO and was going to wait until 14 DPO to test but had a feeling we were pregnant and what a wonderful memory filled day to confirm our new beginning! Didn't do anything creative to tell D just came running out of the bathroom asking if he was ready to be a daddy! He didn't quite believe the result of the 2nd line indicator even after explaining what the 2nd line meant (LOL!) until I took the digital 3 hours later... then he started doing his version of the happy dance.

I will follow up tomorrow with my symptoms including a bout of narcolepsy coming home from a few days ago. Here are the pics of today's tests. I have an appointment for blood work on Monday. SO EXCITED!!! I want so much to call my mom and spill the beans but we are waiting to tell family and friends after we are at 8 weeks.... its gonna be so hard for me to keep it hush hush!

Hold tight little one!!!

2WW maybe?

Waiting for FF to confirm the temp shift but I think we have entered the 2ww phase. I think my O happened on CD 21-22 (1/7-1/8) and CM confirms that but after the first temp spike, my temps are lower than last cycle and slowly rising. It’s hard to compare cycles because of my varied waking schedule last month which had me waking 3 hours later than this cycle. My temp may be lower because of the early wake schedule due to my early work start time. Tried OPKs this cycle and I don't think I will continue with them if this cycle is a bust. I got "almost positives" 3-2 days before I think I O'ed but the test line was just barely lighter than the control line so was technically a negative result and doesn't really count. I may have just missed the full on surge and it is pricey to have to invest on testing more than once a day for the week around expected O date... so probably won't continue with them. (But hope I won't have to!)

So I am *trying* to not be so preoccupied with noting my possible symptoms. HA! Easier said than done! I am having the same dull achy campiness in my lower abs like last cycle. Also some mild pressure when trying to turn on my tummy last night. Also had some "ovulation pangs" while doing the nasty with D a couple days before my possible O. It felt like hubby's thang was curving around and gonna bust out my lower right side. It was tender on that side and a lot of pressure going on. I know one of the Bump gals got harped on for posting about feeling like her DH was poking her ovary so I was sure not to post my experience but I do think being very tender to pressure around O time is possible.

Work is good but tiring because of the early hours. I get home earlier which is a plus but I end up being so damn tired that nothing gets done around the house until the weekend. It suck and something has to change so I don’t spend my entire weaken cleaning!

So the waiting has began... and the over analyzing of each twinge and slight nausea LOL but I will just have fun with the crazy phase and find joy in my delusions hoping that I am proven to not be losing my mind in about 2 weeks!

With love and hope,

~ L

Happy New Year and new possibilities...

We stuffed our faces at the Cheesecake Factory (Mmmmm!) and rolled ourselves to the car. When we got home, we tried to stay up to watch the midnight calibrations but we fell asleep cuddling... a great way to start a new year! Woke up and went straight to Starbucks to begin the first day of 2009 on the right foot like I do every New Year :o)

No resolutions were made but we are looking forward to adding to our family and beginning this new phase of our marriage stronger and more united. It took some trials weathering some family drama, but we are stronger for it and I am so very grateful and feel a sense of relief in our unity. My anxiety thinking about future drama episode has been lifted knowing that D knows and feels resolute about protecting the emotional integrity of the family we are building by enforcing boundaries to keep out external strife and negativity. I love him for his patients and strength of character... I married such a wonderful and strong man... I am so very blessed.

2009... here we go!