Knowing we had to go to the hospital around 6am to be induced, we double checked to make sure all the bags were packed and went to bed around 10pm. The contractions were getting stronger and felt like someone was pushing my lower tummy up against the edge of the counter and pulling my abs down towards my feet... it was different then I thought contractions would feel like. Didn't have back pain... just a little achie which made laying in bed very uncomfortable! There was NO sleeping to be had for me! Hubby got a few hours of sleep in (guys always get over! LOL!). I kept watching the clock timing the contractions... at about 2 AM, they were now just about 5 minutes apart and getting very uncomfortable/painful. I got up to pee and a huge blood clot plopped in the toilet and my pad was soaked like I was having a heavy period. I freaked at the amount of blood so I called Labor & Delivery to see if I should come in earlier then expected. Got the green light! My hair was still wet from showering before bed so I just grabbed a big bowl of cereal & fruit and put out a huge bowl of food & water for the dog and off to the hospital we went!
After being checked at the hospital, I was now 3 cm dilated! They admitted me since I was well enough along and I was already scheduled to be induced a couple hours later. The contractions got stronger from feeling like my lower tummy was being jammed hard against a counter top to feeling like I was being stabbed where my lower tummy meets my pubic bone in combo with my abs being pulled down towards my feet. I was achie in my lower back but it wasn't sharp back pain labor. I could not get comfortable laying down on either side or back. Standing was not much better but because they would let me wear underwear, I didn't want to walk around and be dripping clops of bloody discharge (TMI!). Damen was getting frustrated with me because HE wanted to walk around and do the laboring positions & messages and stuff we learned during our child birth class. I love him for being excited to use all that he's learned BUT it not about what he wanted to do but what felt best for me at the time... he wasn't liking that I didn't want to do them and opted to sit or lay in bed. I was also getting a little annoyed when he would get distracted trying to play music on the laptop with a slide show of our pics... it wasn't playing right and after a few minutes I just wanted him to forget it and concentrate on helping me with my pain. I was getting VERY testie and he was getting irritated with my snappy attitude but DUDE, I AM BIRTHING A BABY DAMN IT! if any time I had a free pass to be bitchy, that was it LOL!
Hours passed and at about 9am I was almost 5 cm dilated and the contractions were between 3-2 minutes apart and so intense. They were offering IV drugs (narcotics) to take the edge of the pain but I didn't want to be sleep and loopy during the birth and IV drugs are shared with the baby which was not something we wanted. I have been told by many that narcotics make you groggy but you still feel all the pain... so why do it? The breathing helped get through contractions but it was so intense! If I had to, I felt I could continue without and pain medication but I was tired and was scared that they may come a point of no return for an epidural, so I gave in and requested one. About 9:45 am I got my Epi and OHHHH the sweet relief! I cried when they were putting in the needle not because of the pain... it didn't hurt at all to put in the epi... I was emotional over the pressure of going all natural and the possible risks (all be it they are low) of getting an epi. Ever since my accident 10 years ago, medical risks are HUGE worries for me and weigh on me heavily. But I said to myself, why torture yourself for hours when I could rest up for the hard part of pushing?!? I respect other women who chose to go all natural but there is no other way I would rather labor! After the epi, I was able to laugh and enjoy the build up to getting to finally hold my baby. We watched episode after episode of Friends on my laptop, listed to the CD we made of songs dedicated to Cornbread, I was able to shut my eyes bits here and there and rest up, snacked on some fruit cups and get ready for the hard part of pushing.
We got in trouble when we got caught eating snacks. The nurse said after getting the epi I was only allowed ice chips but we snuck some nibbles here and there when she was out of the room. I am about to push like I have never labored before and hadn't had anything to eat since the day before and no sleep wither... I will have my crackers and fruit cups damn it! We were taught in our labor class to sneak them in to keep out energy up and thank goodness for that cause I SOOOOO needed that energy when it was time to push!!!
I was shaking so much from the hormones of labor and the epi. I wasn't really cold but I was shaking like I was naked in a blizzard. The last couple of hours, I noticed my jaw hurt from my teeth chattering for hours. Damen kept playing with the thermostat to help me warm up then cool down when I got the sweats. He was worried but I told him it looks worse than it really felt.
I started to feel some pressure when she started to descend down the birth canal. It felt like a cantaloupe between my legs... so that was her head moving down. There were some scary moments when her heart beat would drop bellow 60 bpm and the nurse came running in to put my on a different side and an oxygen mask on. After taking deep breaths with the added oxygen for a few minutes, her heart beat came back up to 130-140 bpm. I was so worried and cried a bit just praying our baby stayed safe. Damen was great keeping me calm. If he was worried, he didn't show it. They said the heart beat slowed when I contracted and was on one side for too long either cause the chord was around her neck or she was pressed up against the chord during contractions.
They turned down the epi toward the end when I was about 9.5 cm dilated so I could feel the pressure to push but still have some pain relief. The nurse said my epi bag was almost out but she didn't want to put another one in since I would be done in 15- 20 minutes (LOL and was she wrong... to my dismay!). At 10 cm, they then told me to lay on my back and bring my knees up and to my chest to push. Being on my back made the baby's heart beat drop so I had to push lying on my right side with Damen helping to hold up my left leg. About an hour of hard pushing, she was crowning and the epi had worn off so i felt the tare that was happening... FUN FUN! My Dr was then called to get his ass in the room and tru to form, he was running late. He said he was 15 minute away... the nurse relplied that I didn't have 15 minutes and then my Dr said, "too bad, she'll have to wait."
FUCK NO is what i said... I have to push!
- My EPI wore off and this hurts like a biotch! It hurt more not to push than to push and feel it taring down there.
- My babies heart rate kept dropping with the contractions so I am not keeping her trapped in my vadge for an extra 15 minutes!
- Did I mention I was in pain like nothing I have ever felt before?
Damen was super pissed when he heard the doctor's reply to the nurse! So I pushed and a couple of pushes later, Ariana Cherie was born at 4:14pm on October 6, 2009. She was 7 lbs. 2 oz. and 19.5 inches long with a healthy set of lungs. The minutes after she was born happened so fast and was so surreal... here was this little thing that been kicking and growing inside me for months... she was a stranger but kinda wasn't. After a few minutes on my tummy, they whisked her away to clean her up and weighed her. We realized afterward, they didn't ask Damen to cut the chord which sucks but whatever. The nurses then pushed on my tummy to get the blood out and the placenta (which I asked to look at cause I am cool like that!). The pushing on my belly hurt like hell... followed by more pain from a few stitches down bellow where I had a 1st degree tare.
She was soon back on my chest for some skin to skin time and we had our first attempt to breast feed. Those moments were such a blur. I am glad that initial bonding time was caught on camera cause I really cant remember too much detail myself. I couldn't believe this little miricle was in my arms. I tried to soak in as much of her as I could... she had my hair, not a bit of curl from Damen, Damen's nose, my lip pout... she was precious. And now the overwhelming part of being first time parents begins!
We stayed 2 days in the hospital although they said we could leave after one day, we opted to stay and get as much help as possible easing into parenthood. Birthing was a messy ordeal... I wont go into detail about all the blood but just to say it was messy! Those first few days, I hurt EVERYWHERE! All my muscles must have been used during the pushing cause I hurt worse than any after workout soreness ever!
Ariana and I took to breast feeding like pros (thankfully!). She had no problem latching. It was funny and strange seeing my boobs serving an actual purpose. Damen was jealous of our bonding time and asked for some skin to skin with her but instead of sleeping on his chest, she was trying to clamp onto his nips which was hilarious!!!
I looked a mess but we were so happy and still in shock we were now parents. But we laugh through most of the fear and stress so I think we'll journey down this new path just fine.
