I HATE dealing with military healthcare!!!

It was supposed to be an exciting first visit to confirm the HPT we took last week. The morning sucked because of my restlessness last night. I went to sleep early (8pm) but woke up sweating and achy at 1am then couldn’t fall back asleep until 4am. D got up for work at 6:30 am which woke me too. *sigh*

Got out of bed at 7am and fixed breakfast with some yummy decaf latte. Then during my shower, I started getting queasy and had to sit for a few minutes. On my way out the door, I realized my military ID wasn't in my wallet (WTF?!?) and searched high and low for 15 minutes but then had to leave or I would miss my appointment. I figured I would just get a temporary pass with my driver’s license like had on occasion at our previous base... NOPE! They made me call D (who can't have his cell on him cause of the high security of his job and he doesn't have a desk phone since he just completed transition training since moving here from piloting a different aircraft) so I had to wait for him to get my text (since he knew about the time I was gonna be at the clinic... he luckily checked his phone!

Oh and even before the getting on base debacle... I was stopped by the police for speeding 10 mph over cause I was running late. I was an emotional mess at that point and lost *trying* to take a short cut D told me about! Oh how the tears flowed! I blame that on my hormones! Well... after explaining my situation and newness to the area, no speed sign visible since I just turned on that road (how the hell was I supposed to know the speed dropped from 45 to 35?!?) he took pity on me and let me slide.

So by the time I got to the clinic, after waiting for D to call the gat to let me on base... I was 30 minutes late for my appointment and missed it. Oooooh how the water works flowed as I was explaining my morning to the receptionist at the Women's Clinic desk. I swear I had no control over that! I was just so flustered because getting an appointment on base is SUCH a pain in the ass AND my work schedule is not flexible so getting a day off again this week would have been impossible! I am 5 weeks along at this point and new the paperwork for referrals takes a good 7-10 days to process and I just HAVE to get things rolling to get to even make a damn appointment with and OB/GYN.

They took care of me though and even though I missed me Pap follow-up appointment, I was able to get some blood drawn. So then I was told the nurse who sets up the off base referrals would be able to see me the same day and I would have to make an appoint for later in the week. The when I got home (45 minute drive off base mind you!) I call for my results... it's official... we're pregnant! I was then told I should come in ASAP to get the paper work done to be able to set up my 8 week 1st pre-natal appointment by next week considering how far along we are (thanks, no shit!). So after being told by one person I need to make arrangements later in the week, an hour later I am told by another that I should come back and be squeezed in because we need to start the paper work now. SOOOOOooo... another 45 minute drive later, got my PNV + stool softeners I needed , info on signing up for pregnancy/labor/parenting classes, free books and videos about the pregnancy and my paper work filled out to get my OB/GYN referral.

Thank F*ing God that I have no choice but to go off base for the pregnancy & birth... cause I would have turned into a raging hormonal bitch having to deal with the time consuming cluster fuck of a process dealing with going to the base for checkups!!! After the birth and going back to my PCM or a pediatric doc is another story. Having to be restricted to the base which has early closing times (government slackers!) and no weekend times SUCKS for working people! Plus it fucking 45 minutes out of our way in the middle of nowhere!

We were told when we first moved here, if you lived off base (since the base is in the middle of nowhere) we can easily signup to see a civilian doctor... then that changed out of nowhere last October and I didn't find out about that unstill I called last month to schedule my routine PAP. Did I mention I fucking hate the military healthcare process! I am going to dish out a hot slice of spousal ass chewing at the next commander's call meeting... for all that we already go through stress wise and husbands who are gone so much... the last thing we need is to have to go through a fucking obstacle course to get medical care! I am so heated and disgusted with the incompetence of this base and their slowness in correcting processes that fail in taking care of their people and their families. Don't even get me started on the off base housing allowance for the cost of living out here and the horrible state of housing one base! My husband is livid from the lack of organization of his squadron... and that disorganization and incompetence bleeds over the family support as well. It's disgusting!

Trying to focus on our blessing... at least we have a guaranteed job & have healthcare, a roof over our heads and food on the table... and thankfully able to get pregnant quickly despite the odds... we are healthy, financially stable and hopeful... trying to focus on that! Tomorrow is a new day and will be looking forward to the excitement of the days ahead.

What a momentus day!

We both were able to get the day off to watch President Obama get sworn in AND we got our BFP today!!!

I am only 12 DPO and was going to wait until 14 DPO to test but had a feeling we were pregnant and what a wonderful memory filled day to confirm our new beginning! Didn't do anything creative to tell D just came running out of the bathroom asking if he was ready to be a daddy! He didn't quite believe the result of the 2nd line indicator even after explaining what the 2nd line meant (LOL!) until I took the digital 3 hours later... then he started doing his version of the happy dance.

I will follow up tomorrow with my symptoms including a bout of narcolepsy coming home from a few days ago. Here are the pics of today's tests. I have an appointment for blood work on Monday. SO EXCITED!!! I want so much to call my mom and spill the beans but we are waiting to tell family and friends after we are at 8 weeks.... its gonna be so hard for me to keep it hush hush!

Hold tight little one!!!

2WW maybe?

Waiting for FF to confirm the temp shift but I think we have entered the 2ww phase. I think my O happened on CD 21-22 (1/7-1/8) and CM confirms that but after the first temp spike, my temps are lower than last cycle and slowly rising. It’s hard to compare cycles because of my varied waking schedule last month which had me waking 3 hours later than this cycle. My temp may be lower because of the early wake schedule due to my early work start time. Tried OPKs this cycle and I don't think I will continue with them if this cycle is a bust. I got "almost positives" 3-2 days before I think I O'ed but the test line was just barely lighter than the control line so was technically a negative result and doesn't really count. I may have just missed the full on surge and it is pricey to have to invest on testing more than once a day for the week around expected O date... so probably won't continue with them. (But hope I won't have to!)

So I am *trying* to not be so preoccupied with noting my possible symptoms. HA! Easier said than done! I am having the same dull achy campiness in my lower abs like last cycle. Also some mild pressure when trying to turn on my tummy last night. Also had some "ovulation pangs" while doing the nasty with D a couple days before my possible O. It felt like hubby's thang was curving around and gonna bust out my lower right side. It was tender on that side and a lot of pressure going on. I know one of the Bump gals got harped on for posting about feeling like her DH was poking her ovary so I was sure not to post my experience but I do think being very tender to pressure around O time is possible.

Work is good but tiring because of the early hours. I get home earlier which is a plus but I end up being so damn tired that nothing gets done around the house until the weekend. It suck and something has to change so I don’t spend my entire weaken cleaning!

So the waiting has began... and the over analyzing of each twinge and slight nausea LOL but I will just have fun with the crazy phase and find joy in my delusions hoping that I am proven to not be losing my mind in about 2 weeks!

With love and hope,

~ L

Cramps, nausea & high temps... Oh my!

Yesterday, the cramps were almost non-existent except first thing in the morning and no nausea so I was worried if maybe something happened so no BFP after all!? All of this is so new and these cramps, twinges and pangs are weird to say the least since I don’t ever get PMS cramps. Today I am decidedly bloated and had heart burn off and on since before lunch and again late evening as I am typing. This better be something, damn it, or I am freaking going crazy! The thought that it was an illness coming on has passed since no fever or sniffles manifested.

Oh how I want to test in the morning but will be only 12 DPO and don't want to ride the disappointed/hopeful rollercoaster. YUCK, I am feeling nauseous since dinner. The commute home still sucks ass for the same reason. Right now it feels like a cross between heartburn and acid reflux... still yuck! What to tell D later this week when I test? If positive, do I hide it and tell when he gets home on the 19th? Why does he have to be deployed right now!? I am thankful it’s a very short stint for once but I wish so much that he were here to laugh at me in person and be here when I POAS to share in the suspense!

On the upside, got my schedule at work fixed for earlier start time to avoid the crazy traffic morning & evenings. On the down side, there goes my excuse for not being able to continue being the house chef!

same symptoms + fatigue

Uggg.... looooong week between new job training and feeling yucky. But it would be a great yuck factor if we get a + when I test next week. FF says I am 14 DPO but I think I am more like 9 DPO due to my CM changes on Thanksgiving Day. My temps the weekend prior soared more because Hubby turned on a space heater in the bedroom for the first time this season and I was smoldering the morning of the temp hike and the day after. Got Hubby to turn down the heat after that. The problem with my temps is that this is my first cycle charting and before I started working, my sleep schedule was all messed up. I will do better next cycle BUT hopefully won’t have to!!!!!

I am still having mild cramping that happens in the late morning onto the evening. It gets a little stronger after meals. The ride home yesterday it was a bit more pronounced that previous days and started to feel it around my sides and lightly to the rear of my lower back muscle… right where my right ovary would be but the back side of it. Don’t know how to describe it exactly… more like the ach when you are bending over the countertop for a while and feel your right-rear back muscle get soar. It could be I was sitting wrong all day or it may be PG signs… only a matter of days before I can test to confirm my “symptoms” are not all in my head!

Nausea was better yesterday except for an hour or so mid afternoon. But again, the stuffy training room didn’t help… and the not so freshly cleansed chick sitting to my right. She is a different one! I was sooo tired yesterday also. But I have not been sleeping well and waking earlier than the alarm for a few days. Plus, the training is slow and dull at a times, warm stuffy room, and giving up on my coffee addiction may all be to blame.

Hubby is not loving his deployment as usual. He is so over that place and all its non-comforts of home. He laughs at my early “symptoms” but it’s all in good fun. His ego will be soooo bloated if he hit the target on the first round! LOL! I am just thankful for his vastly decreased deployment schedule with his change in career tracks and that we have weathered the family drama of the past 3 years. I can’t image taking on this new journey with that bubbling in the background. It had taken its toll on the emotional health of our marriage and as a result, my physical health suffered which would have made the pregnancy process very difficult and unhealthy with the added stress.

But enough of that… positive thoughts only please! Hubby will be home just before Christmas but unfortunately I have to work (BOO!) but at least we had a fun family Thanksgiving and he was around for the first time to decorate for Christmas! Gotta think of a cute way of sharing the news if we are pregnant... like an early Christmas present! Maybe I’ll wrap my belly in a bow when he comes home… maybe had a Daddy onesie folded under the bow? Sooo exciting!!!!



Here is the info posted on my FF chart yesterday:

Triphasic temperature patterns are often indicative of implantation during a cycle and may occur before a home pregnancy test can return positive results. They are called triphasic because they represent a third level of high temperatures typically reached seven to ten days after ovulation. (The first level of temperatures are those preceding ovulation, the second level of temperatures are those immediately after ovulation, the third level of temperatures are those after implantation).

While a triphasic temperature pattern is a promising sign, its presence is not absolutely indicative of pregnancy, and its absence doesn’t absolutely rule a pregnancy out. A triphasic chart shows three levels of temperatures: pre-ovulation, post-ovulation, and then a second rise around 7-10 days after ovulation. Some women with charts that show this pattern turn out to be pregnant. But many do not. Likewise, your chart does not need to show this kind of pattern for you to be pregnant. A triphasic chart can be promising, however, because progesterone levels generally increase after implantation (7-10 days past ovulation) in conception cycles, and sometimes this results in a triphasic pattern. A triphasic chart, however, is not a definite sign that you are or are not pregnant. It is just increasing your probability if you also have well-timed intercourse. Likewise, you can be pregnant and not have a triphasic pattern. Like all signs of possible implantation or pregnancy, you can really only speculate about it once a pregnancy has already been confirmed.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Triphasic_chart.html

First day of new job...

Today was exciting and new in many ways. It was my first day at work and thank goodness for that! I have been so board being out of work for 5 months since our move and looking for a job. So far, so good! The company is very relaxed and up beat... the level is bellow me for now but has great potential.

Another noticeable "first" is feeling nauseous all afternoon. Course I could try to say it's all in my head or it could be the Wendy's lunch... but it was there... I was swallowing slowly and fighting a mild feeling of nausea while also feeling aching cramping during afternoon training sessions. The nausea feeling continued though the commute home.

Hubby left today for a short deployment... hope we planted the seed in time but only time will tell. Wish I knew what to expect when expecting but I will only know in retrospect.

2 Weeks Waiting Phase Has Begun...

Haven’t had chances to write an entry the past week because of all the hustle and bustle gearing up for Thanksgiving. We had such a great time with NO DRAMA!!! It was fun having my Mom, Uncle Boy & Auntie Rowena, and Sista Maleah here in our new home. This was D's first Thanksgiving home since our engagement 5 years ago! (Gotta love the military) We ate tons and Maleah popped our Black Friday cherries by getting us to wake up at 3:30 am to head to Wal-Mart for some crazy shopping rush. It was a fun rush and so funny seeing people go crazy over child and grownup toys. We went just to cheer Maleah on and had no intention to buy anything since I haven’t gotten my first paycheck yet… but Damen was weak and got a hold of a discounted 32” HGTV for our bedroom and a Blue Ray DVD player (thanks to my little Mom tearing through the crowds!) for the family room. So after seeing that, I got myself a Garmin GPS toy for me! It was contagious because Auntie Rowena then showed up with a cart full of towels, GPS and a cute digital camera. Good times were had by all!

The few days of house guests weren’t stressful but tiring... never did so many dishes each day in my life! Mom delivered a truckload of stuff from her storage and left our garage unusable for a while. It was great to be able to hang out with Maleah a bunch since we haven't had a chance to really get to know each other more because of the distance. She is so sweet and funny! I really wish she leave nearby, we would definitely be cool girlfriends/sisters. Everyone got along great and there were tons of laughs and fun memories made.

Hopefully something else was made in the process (hehehe). Our timing seemed great for TTC before D leaves tomorrow for a short deployment. It would be an AMAZING early Christmas present in 2 weeks if we test positive. I would have to think of a cute way to share the news when he gets home on the 16th. My temp shot up yesterday and I was having mild cramping or twinges during the AM and early afternoon. There was some light headiness during those times. I normally don't get cramps but maybe I am just more observant now that we are actively trying to conceive. Between the observable CM, cramping, and temp dip then spike, I think my O happened between Thursday & Friday. So it will be a fun 2 week wait to test if we hit the mark this first round. EEEK!

Are we actually at this phase in life?

In some ways I still feel like the silly college girl... and some days I feel old as dirt! One of my BFFs from college just told me she's 13 weeks pregnant! 'Tis the season, I guess!

Wow, I still have vivid flash backs of our "man hating" days (LOL!) and here we are... both married, one with child and the other starting TTC. Where did the years go? So now I am even more excited about this new phase. What if we get-r-done this first round... THEN we can be pregnant together! Oh that would be so amazingly sweet... but I know not to stress over it if it doesn't happen right away... but a girl can hope, right!?

Unfortch, the calendar may not be in our favor this month. Right about the time I am due to O, Hubby is leaving for a 3 week deployment. Maybe he can leave me with a parting early Christmas gift? (please oh please!)

There's a first time for everything!

Just starting to journal our adventures in growing our family. This month is our first official attempt at conceiving. I have been reading and researching the past year, doing my prep work for mommyhood! It has been almost 4 years of marriage and now that we have settled into married life, gotten past some external drama and its ripple effects on our relationship, survived our first military move as a couple... its baby time!!!

So here we go with positive thoughts, loving wishes and hopeful excitement for this new adventure!
...TTC #1, Cycle 1